Like the Chicks on The Price is Right, Only Fatter
The requirement of my job is to entice people to buy products. Yet if you were thinking I might be sprawled out on the hood of a Maserati in a bikini, thank goodness for me, Maserati and the rest of the viewing world, that is not the gig. Rather I hand out free food and product samples.
For this most recent event, I handed out trial packets of — no kidding — pee pee pads for doggies.
Did You Say Pee Pads? Or Pissy People?
I was already forewarned by my manager that the area of the store I was in is notorious for not engaging folks. Actually, he said they would downright ignore me. So I made a conscious effort to hold up the package that stated “Trial Pack,” saying with a big, friendly smile, “I have a free trial for dog owners today.”
What I thought was a well-planned opening was met with quite a few interesting retorts or answers.
You’re Either Crotchety, A Comedian or a Bad Grandma If You Answered…
These are given in the order of the amount of times I heard them:
Are they free? – Why yes, hence “free trial.” I really can’t poke too much fun because I would have probably said the same damn thing so let’s just put this in the comedian category.
Um…I need a dog first. – Very sarcastic, and of course asking if they knew of a dog owner who would want to try it was not any more of a positive experience for me. I guess the pad wouldn’t work on the bug they apparently had up their ass.
I don’t have a dog, but can I use it for her (or him)? – Obviously this was said in humor which usually caused a little light cut-that-out smack or their kid to say, “Heyyy!?” I kind of chuckled at these.
Those fucking things don’t work. The damn little bastards things still piss and shit all over the place! – If I was your dog I would piss and shit in your house, too, if you called me a bastard…but thanks for the opening to tell the others who heard you that “some people really like them.”
I was thinking about getting this for my grandchild. – This was said seriously while nodding to the child in the cart as the person took one and walked away with this poor kid, leaving me with my mouth ajar.
I believe all animals should be killed. – Aaaawww, really…? I am assuming a dog bite could have been the reason for this reaction, but I didn’t ask. Still, who could hurt this guy?…
Go Ahead…Try It
If you are wondering whether or not you should try pee pads for your pet, all I can say is that some people swear by them, whether they had a puppy, a smaller dog who doesn’t like the cold, or an older dog with bladder issues.
Interestingly enough, a couple people said they even line the cat’s litter box with them.
As far as some of the other people I encountered: Is a simple “no thank you” out of the question?