Since I am a horrible blogger, I am way behind on advertising my exciting weekend, which actually started with my Thursday Laughs blog, which I wrote on Sunday, but of course I had problems with this damn WordPress Jet I downloaded on my iPad that resulted in the whole post being deleted but not before it posted. Meanwhile, people were texting me, “What the fuck happened to your post?” This tells me that I probably have a 404 error out there in cyberspace. So, I had to rewrite it from memory, which I didn’t like as well. With all these goings on, I naturally went to bed disgusted with life — because dammit, sometimes after dealing with all the BIG problems of life, the little ones push you over the edge.
So let me catch you up…
Friday Date Night
I had my yearly multiple sclerosis appointment in the afternoon on Friday, which I wasn’t worried about because I am doing okay. I was looking forward to the appointment so I could catch up with one of the medical professionals who is also widowed. Here’s how the conversation went:
Me: So how are you doing?
Her: I am doing pretty well! I have been seeing a guy for about a year now.
Me: Oh my gosh! That is so wonderful. Dr. Phil and Dateline Mystery are pretty much halting any desire of dating for me…
Me: So tell me. Where did you meet him?
Her: Christian Mingle.
Me: I thought you said you would never…
Her: I know, but my friend, who is actually getting married soon to a guy she met on Christian Mingle talked me into it. After signing up, I met a few guys for coffee that really didn’t go anywhere, one other guy I met and dated for awhile, but he was newly widowed and still grieving, and then I met this man I am dating now.
So after hugs and see you next time, I headed home. Later that evening, I decided to look on Christian Mingle.
Okay, let me ask you, how long do you think I stayed on the site until I realized that Christian Mingle wasn’t meant for a drinking, truck driver mouth chick that writes a blog with an overwhelming amount of bathroom humor? Yeah. I had my doubts before I went on the site actually. I stayed on for all of two minutes. I would rather just wait on this dating thing. Let’s see if I meet someone special by accident.
The Buffet Line
Saturday I had to put on my Demo Queen hat and work my second job. At which I had to make chicken salad from canned chicken, Webers grilling spice, and mayo and then serve a blob of it with a Stacy’s pita chip to the droves of awkward people driven out of the house by the phase of the full moon — even though it was the daytime, but I have no other explanation — who were much more interested in eating than buying.
People were reaching in front of my face or taking two to four servings and walking away all while I was talking into the thin air about the products. Oh wait…one lady did ask some questions and then proceeded to stick her nose into several of the little paper cups containing the hors d’oeuvres, which I then had to throw away.
It was an interesting day to say the least.
Going Out With One of My Besties
Needless to say, I was ecstatic to receive a text at work from my friend who was going out that night to see a rock band comprised of medical professionals. At least the bass player and the guitarist were — a cardiologist and an ear, nose and throat specialist respectively.
They were really good. Although I couldn’t picture them in white coats and stethoscopes after seeing this — probably no more than their patients could picture them with guitars in their hands.
I did meet a couple really nice girls through my friend, one of whom was out on her third date with a guy she said she “had picked up in a bar when she had beer goggles on.” According to her, it is the first guy she’s dated after a decade of being divorced. She was kind of excited and nervous, which was humorous. She told us at one point that if he didn’t come back from the bar and pour her beer from the bottle into the glass, she wasn’t going to date him anymore. He came right back from the bar and did exactly that. “He passed,” she said. Then she kept directing us to say certain things that would lead up to us taking their picture together. She was like a silly, smitten school girl.
The other lady I met was dating a urologist. I thought they were married because she was wearing a diamond on her left hand so I felt comfortable teasing that I was going to cop a feel at “her husband” whenever I left my seat for the restroom, since I had to pass him in a tight space. I felt stupid when she said they weren’t married. I said, “Oh shit. I thought I was safe.” All the while, she kept egging me on to go ahead and cop a feel. I then felt like I had probably broken some kind of HOs before BROs or Chicks Before Dicks rule. But the lady was really fun and had no problem going out on the floor to dance with my friend and me.
It was a really fun night.
Too Tired for St. Patrick’s Day
So after all that weekend activity, Sunday’s blog debacle and today’s work, I was too tired to even think about going out for St. Patrick’s Day, not to mention trying to recover from a hangover tomorrow.
It’s kind of funny because since I didn’t go to college full time — I worked full time and went to school at night — I was always jealous on St. Patty’s Day, being that I am Irish, because I was having to go to work while listening to people my age — I figured — partying in the background of some radio station remote broadcast from a bar at 8 a.m.
Later, I ended up working at a radio station, and we did the all-day St. Patty’s bar crawl. It was not only exhausting, it was a crazy mess.
So, I was glad to just come home tonight and blog. Not before I checked Facebook, though, and saw this fucked up blurry picture of what looks to be some dude with a Girl’s Gone Wild chick at a bar somewhere today.
I guess I shouldn’t make fun of anyone technical shortcomings until I get this post published successfully.
Happy St. Patty’s Day!