Anniversary of Death of Spouse

Yesterday was the 2-yr anniversary of Tom’s death, and I had appointments, which was helpful. Otherwise, I am sure I would have sat at home thinking way too much, which could lead to tears and quite possibly depression.

Make no mistake, though. I knew what day it was, and it was in the back of my mind.

Because I have been a scatterbrain lately, I started my day going into work. Normally off on Fridays, I decided to go in because the night before I frantically remembered that I needed to do a task for my boss that I completely forgot about.

After about an hour, I returned home. I then tried to do constructive things but ended up watching a couple of daytime court shows. In doing so, I couldn’t help but feeling glad that on top of the tragedies I have endured, I am not as ignorant as some of those people who end up on these shows.

It also made me think about the time when my first husband passed away, I had been completely immersed in the O.J. Simpson murder trial. Oh Lord, did my part of my life just do a full circle?!

I quickly decided that I should get ready for my appointment with my soon-to-be manager (I applied for a little part-time job). Following that appointment, I went shopping and cleared out all the year-end boots and shoes in my size. Only two pair of each. And the cashier told me I saved $200. I guess I should feel good about that.

I returned home from the store with just enough time to get ready for dinner and drinks with a good friend who I haven’t been in much contact with for about 15 years but who recently looked me up on Facebook. I originally met her during the time that I was widowed the first time.

Full circle? Lol.

It was so nice to see her and laugh with her. We drank adult beverages — chocolate martinis for me — and she asked about Tom. I told her that it was the anniversary. Still, we had fun catching up and by the time we walked out, we had made plans to hang out again and were laughing.

Soon after I arrived home, I retired to bed and slept through the night with no nightmares, probably thanks to the drinks.

I awakened this morning thinking about how I made it through — with the help of a schedule that included an old friend and a few chocolate martinis. I don’t know if I could have done that last year.

Or maybe I did — except the drinks equaled a bottle of champagne and my friends were The Housewives shows.

Again, full circle.

Seriously, though, it is true that it does get easier — but you never, ever forget.  

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